No Retreat, Baby Noooooovember.

Old video games used to have such limited memory capabilities that words like "points" or "yards" were always plural, leading to stat lines like "Hampton – 3 Carries, 1 Yds, 2 TDs" and "Van Horn – 1 Pts, 2 Socks". By the way, 2 Socks 1 Point was my favorite vulgar web video starring Keith Van Horn. But anyway, my clocking in with 1 overall columns for the month of November is inexcusable. I haven't had a winning November since 1996, but this is the kind of month that gets coaches fired. The highlight of my November was my first ever trip to Madison Square Garden to watch the Knicks take on the Celtics. Many ideas for a column came from this trip, but I never found the time to synthesize them into something readable. A brief synopsis:

• My friend Dan and I made the trip up to New York on one of those cheap buses that provides both cheap transportation for college students and affordable money laundering services for organized criminal syndicates. Thanks again to Fat Tony's Green Lucky Dragon Star Bus Co. for the $20 round trip Philly-NY bus line.
  
• We saw a comedy show at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater and it was fantastic. The tall bald guy from 30 Rock, Erin from The Office, and that annoying guy from NFL Live are all performers there. Most sketches started out slowly, then the entertainers settled into a rhythm, and then you just got to run the football coach, you just got to.
  
• Knicks fans are awesome even when their team and their franchise are not. Fans at most stadiums around the country beg for obvious fouls like blocking or holding, but the savvy connoisseurs at the Garden were yelling things like "Defensive 3 seconds!" and the like. Personally, I was spiked out so I spent most of my time trying to trip referees.
  
• Spike Lee, Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, and Anthony Anderson were all in attendance.
  
• Impossible to get NFL updates on my phone during the basketball game. The game took place on a Sunday and Dallas was facing Washington in a key divisional game. Thankfully, Shaun Suisham missed 13 consecutive field goals in the second half, which allowed the Cowboys to escape with the win.
  

One final note about November: a big thank you to everyone who refused to shave during the month for charity, except ladies. You guys are the real heroes out there.