Morgan Stan

January 18, 2009

Dear Sir,

I just wanted to thank you again for taking the time to speak with me at the information session for your firm earlier today. Specifically, we spoke about some of the lesser known deals you worked on with Skam, Ruckus & Company, a boutique M&A bank. I found our talk to be fascinating. Hopefully, you remember me. I actually applied to a sophomore rotational program at your firm last summer – I was rejected. Do you know if HR holds it against future applicants? Maybe there was a delivery error or something and they never received my application.

I have attached my resume for your review. My contact information – including my cell, my pager, and my home phone – is at the bottom. Please feel free to contact me if you need any further information.

Truly yours,

[applicant]

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January 23, 2009,

Dear Sir,

I just wanted to touch base and make sure you received my most recent correspondence. Just to reiterate, I braved the 20-degree Philadelphia winter and trudged twelve blocks to attend your company's information session. Yours is the most prestigious investment bank on Wall Street, and I am very enthusiastic about the opportunity to work at your firm.

My enthusiasm is evident in many ways. I have sought to live by your company's core beliefs as outlined on a glossy handout at the career fair: Innovate. Prudent. Leadership. I actually tattooed those words backwards onto my chest so I could see them in the mirror every morning as I part my hair.

I hope I get an interview. Do you have any advice? Are they mostly fit, technicals, or should I just track current news? Please call me back. I may be the best applicant you'll forget to choose.

Best regards,

[applicant]

P.S. I remember you mentioned you were a Celtics fan. Me too! I hate to see them lose. How do you like their chances in June?

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January 31, 2009

Dear Mr. Big Fat Investment Bank,

This will be the last letter I ever send your ass. It's been two weeks and still no word. I don't deserve it. I know you got my last two cover letters I wrote the addresses on them perfect. So this is my "additional information" box I'm filling in. I hope you read it! I've dropped at all your divisions. No reply. I just drank a fifth of vodka – dare me to reapply?

You know that song by Phil Collins "In the Air of the Night" about that guy who was 'waiting for a moment his whole life', only that moment never came? That's how this kind of is. You could have rescued me from drowning. Now it's too late, my i-banking career died before it started.

I loved you, we should have been together. Ten info sessions and you won't even read my cover letter?! Plus, my resume was flawless, admit it. You were impressed by my role as VP of External Marketing Co-Ordination, weren't you? Well, too bad! Tables have turned. I reject you! And I hope you can't sleep about it and all your analysts leave for PE without you and the C's lose and Rasheed airs a three to seal it!!!

Your lack of professionalism in responding to my questions was appalling. You're a goddam phony leveraged sellout.

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Feb 5 2010

To: [redacted]@wharton.upenn.edu

From: campusrecruiting@[redacted].com

Thank you for your interest in our firm. Unfortunately, due to the large number of highly qualified applicants, we are unable to continue with your application and will not be extending an invitation for a first round interview. We wish you the best of luck in all future endeavors.