Of Mice and Me

While trying to fall asleep...

The sound of mice chewing and running around is horrifying, but its even more horrifying when your mattress is on the floor. Brad Childress looks like Ben Bernanke. Whenever people ask “is there a bathroom I can use?” I wonder if they are undercover zoning agents, sneakily attempting to inspect my house and break up my illegal bathroom racket. Is there a bathroom? Maybe…you a cop, buddy? I read that Ryan Leaf failed to turn himself in on drug charges a few months ago, but if the experience was anything like his tenure with the Dallas Cowboys, then he probably tried to turn himself in but was too inaccurate. To be fair though, the legal system should know that he will be a franchise inmate for a decade, unlike that bum Peyton Manning who couldn’t crime his way out of a wet paper bag. I miss those old commercials where Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine extol the virtues of investing in 30 year Treasuries because, let’s face it, chicks dig the long bond. Facebook revamping itself to be more like Twitter makes little sense to most people, but I hope that Mark Zuckerberg’s drive to copy inferior technology doesn’t stop there. I am rooting for Facebook to mimic an Edsel or perhaps razors that only have two blades. High schoolers are off to college and ready to kick off a new era in their lives, and I hate to say it, but it’s not see you later, its goodbye. Josh McDaniels is responsible for the last eight seasons of The Simpsons.