Eight Crazy Nights

Comic actors are surprisingly polarizing given their choice of profession. I think this is because they pretty much play the same character in every movie, which means that if you don't like that particular character the actor has no chance of making you laugh. For example:

Will Ferrell: Boorish guy with deadpan delivery

Michael Cera: Angst-ridden awkward teenager. I think he plays me in my biopic.

Vince Vaughn: Normal guy who is usually scheming but gets easily flustered. My friend Dan thought that Vince Vaughn gained a lot of weight for one of his upcoming roles, but I had to tell him that Vince Vaughn is not Robert De Niro and Couples Retreat is not Raging Bull.

Adam Sandler: Boorish guy with over-the-top delivery.

And so on. I dislike Cera's work and used to love both Ferrell's and Vaughn's when I was younger. I'm still a huge fan of Adam Sandler's, an actor who has the rare ability to carry funny movies (Big Daddy, Happy Gilmore and 250 other Middle School Sleepover Hall of Famers) as well as serious ones (Spanglish, Reign Over Me). Sandler is also a huge Springsteen fan, which only makes him more likable.

Since comic actors are so polarizing, your taste in the aforementioned ones probably differs from mine. Still, I would hope we can all agree that Sandler's "Hanukkah Song" is both hilarious and incredibly catchy. Quick tangent: growing up, most of my friends were at least ½ Jewish. I led the league in what sabremetricians have dubbed BMAER (Bar Mitzvahs Attended Efficiency Rating). JUST BECAUSE C.C. ATTENDED MORE TOTAL BAR MITZVAHS DOESN'T MEAN HE'S BETTER THAN ME!!!!

Anyway, my friend Jason (who is Jewish) and I came up with a ton of lyrics we wish Adam Sandler had used in his song. We were talking during what many bloggers had dubbed "LeBronukkah" (James's return to Cleveland) and got the following results:

Me: Uday and Qassay suck…and so does Sadamukkah!
Jason: Palace at Auburn Hills observes RonRonukkah
Me: I did the Dream Shake to commemorate Olajuwonukkah
Me: And what about his coach? Rudy Tomjanukkahvich?
Me: who's your fav ex-Rams tight end? Brandon Manumaleunukkah?
Angelo [guest appearance]: I mean business…celebrate Natronukkah
Me: President LBJ had napalmukkah dropped on North Vietnamukkah.
Angelo: The Mavs at the trade deadline celebrating Caronukkah?
Angelo: 19 assists! Happy Rajonukkah!

I'm just giddy for the holidays in general. Everyone's so happy that it's infectious. "If you really really wannukkah…have a happy happy happy happy happy Hanukkah!!!!!"