ESPN’s decline into nothingness is now complete. There was once a time when the network provided a sober, serious recap of the day’s sports news and mixed in an appropriately small amount of entertainment. Now, the roles have been reversed. The louder and more hyperbolic your point is, the more airtime ESPN will give you. I just caught the newest episode of Feigned Outrage with host Skip Bayless, and, honestly, it wasn’t as bad as Around the Horn.
Too bad ESPN has a monopoly on sports news, otherwise I would just change channels. But anyway, here are some shows I read are confirmed for ESPN’s fall lineup:
1. Come Over Here and Say That with Jay Mariotti.
2. Your Mother with Scoop Jackson.
3. 3. 3. Bob Ley Has a Gun.
4. 4. 4. Tweeting with Tony. Stat boy, or Tony Reali, sits there and reads tweets out loud. Of course, he will be flabbergasted at every tweet he reads. “You’re crazy! You think Kobe is one of the ten greatest players ever? He’s only in the top twelve! MUTE!”
…so John Kruk [redacts] his [redacted] into Woody Paige’s [redacted], at which point Paige starts [redacting] into Chris Berman’s [redacted]. Berman then [redacts] into Scott Van Pelt’s [redacted], who ends up eating far too much [redacted] for one man, or at least for one man in a single sitting. They all conjugate ‘redacted’ even though you’re not supposed to. I call it: The Aristocrats!
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